always words....

Gild wears away
shines begin to dull
rose tint fades to blue

there is an inevitableness
with infatuation
that I am well aware of,
but it hasn’t stopped me

from flinching
when the silences
get too long
when the urgency
begins to wane
when the goodbyes
cease to linger.

Knowing nothing lasts
hasn’t prepared me
for the finality
of the end.
*********************

Do I
take two steps
forward
or two steps
back?

I’ve reached
the ever present fork
in all my roads

One path
that will lead me
unerringly
straight,
despite the bumps
to you.

The other a switchback
that will
allow me
to retreat
gracefully,
without detection
from this
whatever
we’re doing.

I want
so much
to cut and run
from the
anxiety you bring,
the insecurities
you highlight,
the absolute
upheaval
your presence
manifests

but for the fact
that I love your voice
when I hear it
and I love your attention
when you give it
and I love pleasing you
when I finally manage it.

I love thinking
that you might want me
too

so it’s
one step forward
and
one step back
guaranteeing I’m
going nowhere
with you.