who knows?

Trading the sun
for the moon
trying to counteract
the fact
that your night
is just beginning
while mine
is drawing to a close

borrowed time
rushed
stolen
squeezed between
the have to's and musts

when is too much
too much?

when is too much
never enough?

Questions I need you
to answer.

The future
is unclear
as always
and there are some things
I despair
in knowing,
even more
to say aloud

to make them right

Uncertainties
like pearls
in their infancy
start small
and grate
and chafe
molding
into something
else entirely

threaded carefully
on a string
tangled in my mind

if I were less of a coward
I would seek your
reassurances

if I were more of
an optimist
I would not need them

in the middle
of the night
when l pour out
these thoughts to you

a tidal wave
of vulnerabilities

remember that
I need the truth
more than
I need my delusions

however painful.

be the sun
when I can only see the moon.