Nothing ever
falls apart
casually
When things
fall apart
They fall apart
so hard
No period
of calm,
just debris
flying every which way,
but up
a cacophony
but that's life.
I understand that
I really do
I've been trying to
be your pillar,
something
to hold onto
what I'm
rapidly beginning
to realize
is that
the trouble doesn't lie
in you holding onto me
but rather
me
holding onto you
each little bit of
distance creeping in
leaves me
at a loss
on how to stop
you from
drifting away
on a current
dorothy and the twister
all over again.
**********************************
(emotional maracas)
it's a good thing
you can't
pick people up
and shake them
to hear them
rattle inside
from all the pieces
broken
it's a good thing
I don't clatter
as I walk
down the streets
giving away
the fact that
I am mangled
I've been
playing
at living
so long
getting by
cause no one
can hear
no one can detect
my fragmentation
it's a fool that swears to you
they can't act.
now that the
time has come
to be everything
I've been
pretending to be
I don't know
where to begin
picking up my pieces
how to fit them together
or how to keep them
from divulging
the truth
when I fall.
**********************************
pushed
to the point of distraction
it's all
bubbling up inside you
isn't it?
I'd resort
to arm chair
psycho babble
to feel like
I know you,
know what's going on
reassure
where there is
not a leg
to stand on
except that
each minute
that ticks by
cracks me open
like a sieve
where every doubt
I keep reined in
begins to leak out
I'm on the bottom
looking up
from a pattern I've already
fallen into.
again.
You'll notice
I'm gone
by the time
it's too late.
**********************************
I hate to ask
really.
One more thing
to add to your plate.
I understand
if you simply
haven't the time
honestly.
being last minute
and all.
but could you
spare a minute
to help me
hold it together?
I'm afraid
if I take one more step
I'll crumble.
1.25.2005
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1 comment:
Hi - You are quite a talented writer... Keep writing .... May be one day, you would publish your journals....... I wish I could have the patience and ability to keep a journal, like you.....
I could really relate to what you wrote..........
Take care and keep it up....
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