7.18.2003

insecurities

I picked up the phone
But the glaring red
Digital numbers
Glowing 4:25
Made me
Put it back down

I paced the floor
While my frighteningly
Overwhelming need
Fought with
My sense of decorum

You’d be surprised
How many bouts
I’ve had ringside seats to

It’s 4:37 and
Decorum has taken
A beating
Leaving me with
My emotions screaming
Trying to figure out
The time difference
In my head

I’ll be the first
To admit
It’s sad

That I no longer
Believe myself
When I say
It’s all going to be okay

That I need to
Hear the meaningless
Words
From your mouth
Roughened with your voice
For them to
Placate me
Like they should

It’s 4:41
I can hear the phone
Ringing in my ear
Knowing you’ll
Forgive me
This weakness

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