stolen from a muchly missed meara

Realizations Survey (Enlightening, much)

1. I've come to realize that my boobs:
are not very sensitive. surprisingly I don't have too many breast related epiphany's.

2. I've come to realize that when I talk:
I'm not very clear because even I have stopped caring about what I'm saying.

3. I've come to realize that when I drive:
I feel free unless I have a bout of road rage.

4. I've come to realize that I need:
people who are mine.

5. I've come to realize that I lost:
my way.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when:
you lie to my face and expect me to understand.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk:
I do all those stupid things I used to make fun of my friends for, but I'm more sly about it, so the shame is still private.

8. I've come to realize that money:
is the only thing that has a hope of making a difference.

9. I've come to realize that people:
are bright and shiny and wonderful, but fleeting.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be:
here.

12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried:
wasn't nearly enough.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone:
brings me more sadness than joy now.

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning:
I really wanted to sleep more and not get a text about someone's marital fight.

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night :
I pace outside in the night and make promises I'm never going to keep.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:
old friends contacting me and should I return the favor.

17. I've come to realize that babies are:
for other people.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Myspace:
I hate it.

19. I've come to realize that today I will:
find joy in something.

20. I've come to realize that tonight I will:
do whatever comes along, I don't plan that much.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:
start all over again.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to:
figure out what I really want.

free form

5 days and counting

doesn't seem like a lot. but it is.

I'm not going to be the one to break this time. maybe it's reached a point where it's done.

it's sad that I'm kinda addicted to you. but you're pretty much all I've got. and that's not all that much.

you should go to d.c. and lose my number.

it seems a shame to say hello again, before saying goodbye. but that's what I'm going to do.

I was a fool to think I had any sort of chance at meaning something. I really hate to be made a fool of.

your secrets are your own. I just have a hard time accepting that. it's hard to know 90% of the time you're lying to me.

if I keep paring down, maybe I'll reach a point where it's ok to be gone.

nothing coherent, nothing profound.

this is my song

You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what
I've been through like you do

here's to being sorry for getting what you asked for, and laughing hysterically.....emphasis on the hysterical part.

mostly wtf!?!?

wow, I need to fix my blog. I tore it all apart with the intent to make it look shiny and pretty, but yeah, that hasn't happened yet. been a long time since I sat down to do this. It only seems to be brought out by certain people. or maybe certain days. or sleep deprivation.

should be sleeping. but can't stop waging this war against the entire concept. It is so not the day for melancholy nonsense. yet I find myself wading in it. course I always get a little sad when I reach this point of muddled half zombieness. yes zombieness, it's a perfectly acceptable word.

I find myself wanting to say all the old things again. reiterate. rehash. rewhine. (again, perfectly acceptable)

I like to beat my head into the same brick wall...

eh fuck that.

three unrelated things:
1.) I'm glad you are being seen again

2.)I wish I got the full picture.

3.)here's to crawling out of the vagina day.