3.12.2003

time

I would have thought a year would be long enough. Long enough to get over you. But time is proving itself to be relative. Because three years was a long time to love you and on days like to today it doesn't seem long enough. I've figured out the solution though, I'll be fine if I never have to see you again.

All you had to do was walk in the room and I remembered. The half smile you'd get when you were happy and the way your eyes shone when you looked at me. The way you felt in my lap when I'd hold you. The way my hand fit perfectly splayed across your stomach. The way I was never quite warm enough unless you were touching me. The way you look in boxers. Thousands of little things locked away, seemingly forgotten. Little inconsequential things.

I had been lucky to forget just how easy and how much you could hurt me. You'll be honored to know I've never met anyone who could hurt me quite the way you do. Let it never be said you aren't talented. Just the sound of your voice was cutting.

I'll be honest. I couldn't look at you, or even acknowledge that you were there. But can you blame me? Yes I'm sure you did. I could tell by the sound of your voice, by your dismissal of my existence in return. But I could feel your eyes on me, aimed straight at my back; making sure to let me know just how happy you are, now. With him.

Yeah, a year definitely isn't long enough. Say hello to Mike for me won't you?

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