do you ever look up people you know or used to know on google? it's not a good habit to get into. plus it's kinda creepy. and it's just served to reinforce this mental place that I'm in. of not feeling good enough. it's a tough monkey to throw completely off your back.
let's look at A, B, and C. With A you have everything you've ever wanted, but for one small hiccup. With B, you have a kindred. and then there is C, me. and I can't seem to get why I keep factoring in, clawing between attached at the hip and ultra suaveness. or even why I want to. I keep coming back to you, even when I feel like shit. every. single. time.
because I don't know how to love someone unless they don't feel the same.
I'm enamored of this thing they call: letting go.
someday I might even manage it.