my song part 2

I'm afraid to sink, I'm afraid to swim
I'm sad to say I miss my friends
I know that I'm supposed to step away
But they need me to stay and keep a watchful eye
On all my heroes and all their demons

But who's gonna break my fall
When the spinning starts
The colors bleed together and fade
Was it ever there at all
Or have I lost my way
The path of least resistance
Is catching up with me again today

conversations I do not want to have are looming. just adding one more pebble to the avalanche. I'm still trying to find my feet in this. sometimes I stop looking....shhhh....don't tell. an easel sits in the corner gathering dust. sometimes I think it glares at me accusingly, along with the bike that sits in the garage. but that's mostly just my neurosis.....mostly.

I wrote a letter, in which I gushed, and did not care a whit about the response. small victories.

I got drunk with an old friend. I said a lot of things I wish I hadn't. I exposed a great deal more than I should have. and I did some stuff that makes me a tad angry with myself. my P-S tendencies are manifesting themselves in increasingly stupid ways. I enjoyed the waitress, but then I always do.

you know how you read about certain sexual practices and wonder how anyone likes that sort of thing? until you try it and find out you're the kind of person who likes that sort of thing? yeah, that's annoying.

my corner of the world is waking up to tuesday morning. and I still think platonic cuddling is perfectly viable.