I missed him today

The heat has finally taken a break and I can't help feeling a little bit of euphoria when I step outside. The air has been oppressive, thick, heavy and unmoving. and I know with the rising of the sun comes the pregnant stillness again. so I'm going to wholeheartedly enjoy this little respite.

I'm hoping that the storms will come. I can feel them all around us, but so far they've just been moving passed, not through. The electricity in the air makes me itchy.

Why am I talking about the weather? Because I can.

The past few weeks have been hectic and worrisome. I am greatly surprised I haven't ended up with an ulcer. Thankfully I have bought myself maybe 6 more months of being able to breathe freely. and it feels a lot like freedom.

Been spending the a lot time on dirt roads in the country. It's been a little like coming home.

Another relationship is coming up to its end. I'd like to be able to say goodbye this time, but I am not sure I'll get the chance.

I missed him today. or maybe I missed who I thought he should have been. in any event, it was ok. It felt good to miss him, once I finally gave myself permission.

remember when this used to be profound? yeah, I don't either.

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